Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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