Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?