Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
