I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?