Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time

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  (770): Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time http://tfl.nu/rffr
  Replies (21) Good night (5777) Bad night (1252)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...

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  (305): Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid... http://tfl.nu/f15q
  Replies (37) Good night (8455) Bad night (574)
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  (909): View more from California

  Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.

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  (909): Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle. http://tfl.nu/fgdn
  Replies (16) Good night (4466) Bad night (771)
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  (516): View more from New York

  no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"

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  (516): no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?" http://tfl.nu/24qc
  Replies (8) Good night (4829) Bad night (1993)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.

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  (704): I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home. http://tfl.nu/daw2
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (2287)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up

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  (786): If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up http://tfl.nu/h8cl
  Replies (14) Good night (5427) Bad night (1269)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.

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  (317): I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket. http://tfl.nu/1ame
  Replies (6) Good night (2028) Bad night (657)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.

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  (248): my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose. http://tfl.nu/g7i9
  Replies (16) Good night (690) Bad night (2284)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS

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  (724): Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS http://tfl.nu/ftff
  Replies (17) Good night (2399) Bad night (580)
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  (714): View more from California

  i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo

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  (714): i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/2wsz
  Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (351)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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  (313): At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/fpxj
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (435)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

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  (724): Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me (1-724): He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit. http://tfl.nu/ml5w
  Replies (5) Good night (1423) Bad night (461)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.

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  (215): I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that. http://tfl.nu/2qs0
  Replies (1) Good night (1290) Bad night (363)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.

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  (480): And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold. http://tfl.nu/2ktu
  Replies (5) Good night (215) Bad night (528)
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  (530): View more from California

  Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering

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  (530): Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering http://tfl.nu/xcut
  Replies (0) Good night (181) Bad night (478)

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