I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
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I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.