I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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