So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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