Kiss
Puke
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
