Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
