She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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