i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
