i would punch a child for taco bell
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
