Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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