Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
