i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
