So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
