Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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