The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
