you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Randomize
