xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
