i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
