if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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