her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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