"it" just moved
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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