dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
