He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
