That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
