The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Randomize
