Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
