Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
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I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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