I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
