You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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