Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
