My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
