Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
