i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
barbara walters just said penis...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
