fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
