So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
