Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
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There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
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I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"