so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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