she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
