youre lurking in front of me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
