Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
