He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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