Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
