I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
