Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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