You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
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Vodka?
Forever.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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