Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
