Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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