The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
