Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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