yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
