Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
