We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
