I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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