I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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