i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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