i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
