You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We have started to decorate penises.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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