my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
