Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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