In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
