i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
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I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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