Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized

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  (602): well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized http://tfl.nu/19cr
  Replies (12) Good night (522) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

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  (905): me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies. http://tfl.nu/dozm
  Replies (10) Good night (5015) Bad night (601) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches

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  (337): we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches http://tfl.nu/7vm5
  Replies (15) Good night (3804) Bad night (420)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?

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  (541): you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me? http://tfl.nu/hd4u
  Replies (66) Good night (4089) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.

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  (907): My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you. http://tfl.nu/6oks
  Replies (11) Good night (3191) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.

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  (314): He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is. http://tfl.nu/o2e4
  Replies (42) Good night (1139) Bad night (6446) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

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  (734): I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. http://tfl.nu/46aj
  Replies (5) Good night (1857) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.

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  (303): Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize. http://tfl.nu/r92i
  Replies (20) Good night (2945) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face

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  (952): like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face http://tfl.nu/ozvq
  Replies (11) Good night (704) Bad night (1765) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?

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  (704): HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES? http://tfl.nu/cu3x
  Replies (8) Good night (1965) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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  (941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw
  Replies (4) Good night (1676) Bad night (532)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.

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  (413): I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened. http://tfl.nu/qzdq
  Replies (10) Good night (2480) Bad night (882)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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  (785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge
  Replies (5) Good night (1565) Bad night (442)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.

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  (706): I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today. http://tfl.nu/vvd3
  Replies (10) Good night (1960) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.

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  (770): I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid. http://tfl.nu/3jns
  Replies (2) Good night (1215) Bad night (171) Order T-Shirt

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