He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....