I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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