I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.