sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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