So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
