Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize